Wedding bells

My fellow Malaysian Arabic student will always remember that you should not – ever – ask a Saudi if she has a boyfriend. Unfortunately my Malaysian friend didn’t know that until a couple of hours ago. She does now, after she asked our – Saudi – Arabic teacher if she has a boyfriend. The following moments could be described as… awkward! And it’s because in the Muslim world, you’re either single, engaged or married. There’s no other status in between, thus no boyfriends!

Thanks God our teacher is forgiving; she actually proved to be very patient as another student asked her how the Saudis meet their husbands. Fair question, if you consider there’s no place or opportunity for Saudi men and women to get to know each other. Men and women do not have any contact to each other outside of family.

The solution is obvious: the families arrange the marriages; still I found the whole protocol very interesting. Usually, the young man’s mother would notice a nice, well-mannered young woman whom she’d find worthy of her son. The son would normally have given a couple of physical criteria to his mother, who can easily look for the perfect girl for his son, since she as a woman is able to see other women's faces and hair. It can also happen that the young man himself notices a friend of his sister’s and initiates the engagement procedure himself. After this first step (young man’s family is interested in a young woman) comes the official family encounter, where both families meet. Most importantly, the young man is allowed into the women’s room, where the young woman appears without any abaya or headscarf, so she shows her face (without make-up) and her hair (as natural as possible), and she wears her normal clothes (typically a long skirt and a blouse). And if it was not enough beauty for the young man’s eyes, he also gets to see her legs! After that first encounter, both young man and woman tell their parents if they like each other. If both of them do like each other, then the engagement is celebrated. A dowry is paid, and a whole jewellery set is given to the future bride.  The engagement period usually lasts a couple of months, so the fiancés have time to know each other a bit better. Both sides are still free to call off the wedding if they don’t like each other after all. 

A student then asked the teacher: What about love? She answered in a laugh: “It comes after!”

That’s the typical procedure; of course it greatly depends on the family’s wealth, traditions and conservative / liberal views. For instance there are still cases where the fiancés do not see each other before their very wedding day. Or families which don’t allow their daughter to cancel the wedding. Fortunately, there are also – rare – weddings celebrated between young people who are already in love with each other!

Love your enemy

The culture in which we’re living is definitely hard to understand. That's why I certainly don’t mean to analyse it, I just try and share my discoveries, which to me are still like little stones building up an edifice of which I still don’t manage to get an overall view. Hope I will someday…  

The nation suffering the most stereotypes in the US is probably Saudi Arabia. But while you’d expect the Saudis to nourish hard feelings towards America, they’re actually fascinated by their culture and way of life! (Sounds familiar does it? Hint: I'm thinking about a US neighbour! Nooo, it's not Canada!)

The large majority of Saudis speak English; most of them learn it at school from a very young age. My French student Sarah mentions being much exposed to the English language and refers to the many American movies they watch. Wait a minute, aren't we talking about a country where there’s no public cinema?!

She tells me they watch a lot of US movies and series on TV or on the computer, using streaming or downloading websites! (no Hadopi law over here!) I ask her which TV series she likes watching, and she tells me she currently watches “The good wife”, the most recommended TV series of the moment! (Which I still haven’t started to watch by the way…!). 

Would you have expected that from a covered-up lady you’d cross on the street? I honestly wouldn’t have, and that’s what I love about these experiences, they bring me closer to a group of people who are not so different from us, whatever the US media want us to think.

Sarah’s oldest son went to study to the US for a year, and her second son is in Boston at the moment, he’ll stay there 5 years to study his whole university career. Of course I couldn’t help asking her if it’s complicated for them to get a visa for the US, which she confirms is a long, complicated procedure, but at least they do obtain the visa in the end. She’s relieved as I tell her we Westerners are not treated any better when it comes to US visas! She’s really glad to hear that since she thought it was a "special treatment" towards Saudis! 

Sex drive

I think I already mentioned that women are not allowed to drive in Saudi. I can hear all macho men from here: “Well, the roads must be safe, then uh?”

Let me tell you it’s the complete opposite! And that’s a woman used to Mexican driving speaking here! Saudi driving would be like Mexican worst driving… to the power of 10! Thanks God there’s no drunken driving over here; the casualties are high enough as it is. Driving is the Saudis’ favourite pastime, fast and furious driving is their passion!

So you’ll have guessed where all Saudis go to on Friday, right? (Well that is when they’re not at the mall)

On a sunny Friday afternoon, all the dunes nearby the city are stormed by 4WDs. It’s quite a phenomenon: it’s not so much about showing off your car, but above all your driving skills. So Daddy in his Cayenne can show his wife and children who’s the boss! Funny thing is it’s not always as easy as it seems… You can see how they try their way up, get stuck, and reverse. And try again. And fail again. Here they come, speeding up, they’re up two thirds... Too bad they got stuck again! Of course some other guy will try and drive exactly past them, cheered up by his children and wife, and when he finally manages the joy is incomparable! The lucky ones who reach the top of the dunes get a privileged, hardly earned view onto the sea and tons of garbage scattered around. I know, that's sad, especially after putting out so much effort...

Anyways, I must confess it’s still a huge lot of fun! We did enter the game, and managed our way up and down the dunes without so much trouble. 

The playgrounds

Children's playground - quad bikes

If you don't have any 4WD that's fine, you can just try and leave skid marks with your old American car
- as long as it releases testosterone that works too!

Having a go at quad biking - Luckily even women are allowed to drive those!

Experiencing the Arab hospitality

My travel guide (my dear travel companion the Lonely Planet!) had already warned me about the legendary Arab hospitality; experiencing it was just like they say, only tastier!

First of all, I must say that Saudi homes are very nicely furnished, with warm colours and textures (carved wood, silky fabrics, soft carpets…). Add a delicate spicy scent to this (frankincense has been produced around the Arabian Gulf for centuries), and you’ll feel more than welcome!

                                           

But for your host, nothing will ever be good enough! So you get a nice cup of Arabic coffee accompanied with a tasty date (the Saudi dates are supposed to be the best in the world); of course you also get a refill! After that you get a nice cup of tea (regular or green - very tasty either ways!) and if you’re lucky, you also get a delicious piece of cake (this time was cinnamon, nuts and dates cake… excellent!).

Good news is chances are I’ll experience this once a week, for I’m giving French classes to a Saudi lady!

Sur la route…

Since I’m not allowed to drive and don’t serve much as a co-pilot (those who already know me will know why!), I find many ways of entertaining myself while we’re on the road.

Trying to decipher the city names (my Arabic reading is almost the level of a 6-year-old’s)

Reminding the driver about the speed limit (just to get congratulated on my reading of Arabic numbers)

Checking that the car is within the height limit (and expecting congratulations again!)

Having a look at the oil pipelines along the road

Having a look at the price at the gas station, only to wonder how I’ll ever 

be able to pay the European price again 

(that was about 3 euros for 32 litres) 

Looking at the ever changing desert sky

And I leave you with this music video of the French song which inspired the title of this post: 

Mmmmmh mumtaz!

We’ve all read stuff about Arabic culture and traditions, those typical things you’d find in any traveller’s guide; experiencing it, however, can result very different from what you’d expect. On the topic “home dinner”, the real thing is surprisingly nice – or is it nicely surprising?

6.15 pm, in the building’s corridor, not really sure of the apartment and unwilling to knock at the wrong door, we call Amjed on his mobile. Behind a neat row of shoes, the door opens on Amjed and his three sons, all grinning from ear to ear. Wow, this makes us feel like very special guests! We’re only one step into the apartment, and I’m shown the way to the living room, while Richard follows Amjed into the guest room, a nice furnished room for men meetings located straight after the hallway.

I meet Ghada, Amjed’s wife, a very nice lady. She’s wearing casual clothes and her hair’s simply tied up. Thanks God, she speaks a bit of English, but not quite enough to have a good conversation. To my rescue comes Sara, their elder daughter of 12, who comes to me and asks my name in English. We then have a nice chat about her life, her school and her friends, while Ghada finishes preparing dinner. 

When asked if she finds Saudi Arabia different to her native Jordan, she answers:

- A lot! First, in Jordan, there’s no sea! (One point for Saudi Arabia)
- What about your school? 

- It’s very easy here! (That would probably be another point!)

But she adds:

- In Jordan we can go to the supermarket; here we can’t! (Jordan, one point!)

(The last point probably relates to her mum not being able to drive, and to her not being able to walk anywhere from where she lives.)

Watching the little boys play around (1 and 2 years old), I learn some Arabic words (“no”, “enough”, and also “money”, as little Abdallah tears off a 1 riyal bill and sings around “Masari! Masari!”). Then my private teacher Sara shows me how to write these words, a very sweet private lesson!

And then it’s time for dinner; Ghada puts on her abbaya, headscarf and face mask before the men are allowed to come to the dining room. The mansaf – typical Jordan meal made of rice, lamb meat and yoghurt sauce – was simply delicious! Time for me to practise my Arabic, slipping a few “mumtaz” (excellent) into the conversation to congratulate our host on the meal.

After dinner, we split again for a nice cup of green tea in our respective guest/living room. A couple of neighbours join us, man and woman entering through different doors, so the man enters directly to the guest room without seeing the women in the living room. We keep chatting about life, children, the great recent events in Egypt, until it’s time to say goodbye.

Walking back home, half an hour was hardly enough for Richard and I to share our new experiences!

And the winner is...

With so much cheating going on, I needed a few days to decide on who, if any, really deserves the prize!

I will thus award not one, not two, but three prizes!

-     1^st prize goes to… Melba! For having an engineer eye on everything, although not being one (you keep impressing me Mel!). Well done! Let’s see when we manage to schedule that Om Ali ;)

-  2^nd prize goes to… Ramiro! For cheating in an honest way (is it actually possible?!) and for wanting this dessert so bad without even knowing what it’s like! However, since you cheated, you only win a tutorial session on how to prepare it, to schedule any day in the 2^nd half of July ;)

-  Special prize for honesty goes to… Alice & Rafa! God knows when I’ll manage to pay you a visit in Madrid; I will definitely owe you much more than an Om Ali by then ;)

And since I’m definitely very generous I will share that signed picture to you all ;)

Week end in Bahrain - my 10 highlights

1)  Getting really close to Saudis at the border, in a massive quest for alcohol / shopping / women
(delete as appropriate)

2) Taking off my abbaya after crossing the border – feels great!

3) Going shopping until midnight and being able to try on anything you like 

(there are no fitting rooms in the Saudi shops)

4) Having a nice – alcoholic – drink at a bar while listening to live salsa music

5) Finding a complimentary gossip mag at the hotel!

6) Admiring the turquoise blue colour of the sea 

(don’t mind the cranes; they’re just part of the picture anywhere in the Gulf!)

7) Checking out a free art exhibition at the Financial Centre 

8) Eating at a Mexican restaurant and finding out which dishes taste close enough to the real thing

9) Going to the movies 

10) Being reminded that cassettes do still exist!

Wanna play?

I’m in a playful mood today, the weather is getting very summery already, and tomorrow’s weekend for us! Oh, and we’re heading to Bahrain! Let’s just hope I don’t get sunburnt by exposing too much skin as I won’t be wearing any abbaya there! I’ll keep you posted!

Anyway, today’s game is the following: here’s a picture of a very nice building we saw in Al-Khobar the other day. It looks beautiful, but can you figure out what's inside?

Take a guess and leave it as a comment (Spanish and French accepted!). The first right answer will win… (take a seat; you won’t believe your eyes!)… a voucher for a home baked Om Ali (absolutely delicious local dessert!), which I will obviously bake myself on the next occasion I see the winner. And since I’m feeling so generous today, I might add a signed photo of myself wearing my best-looking abbaya. It really is your lucky day ;)

Have a good day everyone!